A great day

Today is going to be a good day. This has nothing to do with events that may or may not happen, but about how I make it in my mind. I could choose to look at all the difficult circumstances or I could choose to look at all my blessings. I am grateful for the Lord and for everything He is. The peace that I receive through Him surpasses any temporary gratification that the world can provide. It's easy to keep up with routines and forget about Satan's influence on the world, but when you step back and pay attention, it is so real. Satan doesn't want what is best for us like God does. Instead he feeds us with lies to steer us away from God and His peace. While these lies seem small and harmless, they add up and steer us further from our creator and protector. Today is going to be good because I am aware of Satan and his schemes and I will conquer his lies with God's truth. When I see greed and selfishness creep in, I will go to my Father for strength and humbleness. It is not about us! We are all better off loving others as ourselves and putting others first.

11 month anniversary

Happy, or not so happy, 11 month anniversary to us since being DTE. Courts are now open, but there have been no referrals lately. It has been tough not seeing progression and not understanding why. The agency is still estimating wait times for an infant boy to be between 10 and 16 months, but is expecting the wait times to increase. I guess we are just along for the ride. I am so blessed to have an awesome group of friends in my accountability group who listens, prays, and encourages me. Last week I shared that I've been having pity parties with the whole adoption. They are encouraging me to stay away from the yahoo group, only checking it once a week at most. While this is hard, it's better that way. It has consumed me, as I check it nonstop throughout each day thinking there has to be someone stating that they have received a referral. It's always a big let down. To end on a positive note, even though I am trying not to buy anything for our son until we receive his referral, I got a great deal on a car seat. Since I am a planner, I have known for sometime now the car seat I wanted to get. It just so happened that my friend had that car seat and is selling it because her son has outgrown it. It's in great condition and is only costing me $50. instead of $225 for buying it new. Woohoo. Well, that is it for now.

Referrals in the air and court opening

On Friday last week, two families received referrals. I am hoping this is the beginning of many more to come. Since one of the referrals was for an infant boy, we were able to move up in line. Now we are:

Also, we got an email from our family coordinator saying that court will reopen Wednesday October 12. My hope is that while courts were closed, MOWCYA got caught up on their backlog of cases and was able to work out some of their kinks.

Changes

Brian and I have decided to make some changes to our adoption. Instead of requesting a male 12-30 months, we have changed our request to a male 0-12 months. There were many contributing factors to this, but ultimately, we believe this will be best for our family. Once again, Brian and I were on the same page with this. I spoke with our family coordinator and social worker this afternoon and we have approval. We will need to amend our home study in a few months, but this shouldn't require too much work as papers are beginning to expire anyways. In changing our request we move from #3 to #14 on the unofficial list. I laugh at the craziness of this, knowing we just willingly made our wait time increase at least a few months when we were nearing the end. I also find it humorous that just a few months ago I got rid of all the remaining baby boy clothes we had saved. Oh well. Bye for now.

9 months and waiting

Today marks our 9 month anniversary of being DTE (dossier to Ethiopia). Funny to think that if I had this child through my conceiving him, I would be holding him in my arms, or close to that point. We are still anxiously awaiting "the call," but have become somewhat numb and used to the hardships. My new way of coping has been to remind myself that while I might be disappointed not having our son home, or even knowing who he is for that matter, this wait would be so much worse from the other side. Imagine being the child who has gone through huge losses, major transitions and without a family. They might be wondering if they will ever have the love of a mom and dad again. We know that bearing any unforeseen circumstances, we will be adding a son to our family and can even watch ourselves move up on a list that gives us an idea of when things might progress for us. Our son and all the other orphaned children don't have that. Many of these children will grow up in an orphanage and then be left to fend for themselves on the streets at a young age. When I think about the children, I get more anxious to bring our son out of his difficult circumstances and love on him, but I also feel like a spoiled brat for complaining about my wait, when quite frankly, I am beyond blessed and completely spoiled with luxuries so many will never enjoy. Plus, the longer you wait for something, the more you cherish it, right? Our son will no doubt be cherished, and probably just a little spoiled :) As I wait, I am growing closer to the Lord, growing in faith and trust, working on being more like Jesus in my wife, mom, and Christian role, and trying so hard to be content with where the Lord has me.