one year adoption anniversary

Oh boy, where do I begin. We had such a great weekend with friends of ours who's daughter and ours are in the same class at school. They have a cabin about an hour and a half from home that is on a gorgeous river. We intended to tent camp in their yard since the cabin has one bedroom, but they let us sleep on their pull out couch on the screened in porch which had a panoramic view of the river. The weather was perfect and the view was breathtaking. Hanging out with friends is always nice too. We relaxed, grilled, went for a ride on the river chasing after the many alligators, the boys went mudding in the truck, we saw lots of wildlife including turkey, gators, deer, hogs, etc..., bike riding on the withlacoochee bike trail, and much more. On the way home, Brian stopped at a triathlon store that he had wanted to visit for a while and I thought that would be the perfect opportunity to check the adoption blog to see if there were referrals on Friday. Woo Hoo, there on top was a title that listed one of the families did in fact receive a referral on Friday (the exact one year anniversary of when we started the adoption journey by submitting our application to the agency). Very excited Anna just had to investigate about the referral. I should have been ecstatic that they were one of the families ahead of us on the toddler boy list which means we are now tied with another family for number 5. Upon reading more, they were DTE about a month and a half before us and were requesting either gender up to 24 months. They were the unofficial number 2 on our list. So far so good, right? Well, only God could see what was about to happen next (you know, like when you witness something happening to your kid and you just know they are about to erupt and come crying to you that something very unfair happened to them). In their announcement they disclosed that their family coordinator called them to say that a 2 1/2 year old boy is available and while it was older than their request, they wanted to know if they would be interested. They said of course. This is not standard operation. Usually, if a child does not fall in someone's range, they offer it to the person next in line requesting that age. THAT WAS US!!!!! I sat there in disbelief, anger and sadness, ranting to God and trying my hardest not to loose it. There goes Brian run by in front of me trying on a pair of running shoes giving me this huge grin and a thumbs up. Ohhhhh, if he only knew. I shot back a very fake smile and a thumbs up back. He probably thought I was mad at him for taking so long. Well, since he wasn't there to talk to and I didn't want to vent to the kids, I decided to talk to God some more, which should be the first person I go to anyways. I felt myself coming to Him as a child runs to their parent for understanding and comfort. I sat in His arms asking Him why. I felt His comfort as He so simply told me I am sorry that you are sad, but Anna, I have a special child picked out for your family, and this little boy is not him. You will need to trust me and wait. Uhhh, well what am I going to say to that but OK. Thank you Lord for being in complete control and for giving us the best of everything even when it is difficult for us sometimes.